Letters to the Dead
by lucidscreamer
Summary: After Yami departs for the afterlife, Yugi writes 'Letters to the Dead.' Yami/Yugi. Spoilers for end of series. Ficlet in chapt 9. Warning: Character death & sappy fluff
1. Loss

**Letters to the Dead: One**

The voice of my heart speaks with slow sorrow.  
My limbs lie heavy and cold, and I weep  
for you are gone from me.

Honey is bitter as myrrh on my tongue;  
the fatted goose cannot tempt me, and I weep  
for you are gone from me.

O! Lord of my heart, your absence  
is a heavy weight to bear, and I weep  
for you are gone from me.

Amentet greets you with bread and water;  
Wepwawet opens the way. And I weep,  
for you are gone from me.

You are True of Voice, Justified.  
Wait for me in the West. Though I weep,  
I shall follow you.

(c) Lucidscreamer March 5, 2005

Author's Note: In ancient Egypt, a person might write a 'Letter to the Dead' (usually written on a bowl, though there are examples written on papyrus or linen), which would be left at the tomb of the deceased. Amentet (Ament) is the Name of the Goddess Who greets the newly dead at the gates of the afterlife and offers them bread and water. Wepwawet (Upuauet) is a funerary deity. His name means "Opener of the Ways", referring to his role in leading the deceased through the underworld as a protector; He is also the messenger and champion of royalty.

This series of poems will consist of letters from Yugi to Yami, after the final episode of the anime.

Warning: Spoilers for the end of the series. Implied slash (Yami x Yugi).


	2. Emptiness

**Letters to the Dead: Two**

The Puzzle was my talisman,  
a golden charm to ward away my fears  
and loneliness...

Once, I wished upon its completion  
and it granted me my fondest dream:  
a friend.

My heart's companion,  
you were always there, a second soul  
cleaved to mine.

Your absence is a bitter wound to bear.  
A thousand times a day, I reach for you,  
for my talisman...

I would not keep you from Paradise;  
I know your spirit was weary of darkness  
and Shadow,

that even their King had grown tired  
of games. Your rest was paid for  
in blood.

The Gates of the West were open, and you  
said you had to go, that I could be  
myself now...and free.

But I am a selfish boy.  
My empty heart aches without you.  
And I am lost

in this  
tyranny  
of freedom.

(c) 03/10/2005 Lucidscreamer

Author's Note: As you can see, not all the poems in this series will be in the ancient Egyptian style (as was the first one). In fact, there will likely be a multitude of styles, as Yugi's mood and frame of mind dictates. Thanks to everyone who reviewed; don't forget to visit my LiveJournal for responses to your reviews!


	3. King of Denial

**Letters to the Dead: Three**

I know you're gone. Empirical  
evidence can't be denied,  
(though heaven knows I've tried).

Your spirit's soft reflection  
no longer fills  
my heart's void, and I

can't hear the whisper  
of your voice within  
my solitary soul.

Late at night, no warm arms  
comfort me. No gentle  
caress dries my tears.

Even your Puzzle is gone,  
buried beneath the sand  
with the ruins of my fantasies.

Your image haunts me  
in mirrors, in dreams  
taunts me from the dark

shadows in corners.  
Silence is my companion-  
constant, unwelcome,

and denial  
no longer simply  
that river in Egypt.

(c) March 11, 2005 Lucidscreamer

* * *

Author's Note: Another "Word of the Day" prompted this entry in the series, the word "empirical." Yugi is still moving through the stages of his grief, though not neccessarily in textbook order. I have a feeling "anger" is coming up soon, though...

Don't forget to visit my LiveJournal (link in profile) for responses to your reviews!


	4. First Anger

**Letters to the Dead: Four**

How could you leave me  
alone  
in this crowd,

surrounded  
by solitude?  
No voice in my heart,

no room in my soul...  
An empty vessel,  
discarded, unwanted.

Cast aside,  
forgotten.  
What use is the Chosen

when destiny's fulfilled?

(c) March 16, 2005 Lucidscreamer


	5. I Hate You!

**Letters to the Dead: Five**

In the darkest hours,  
I hate you.  
For everything

I left unsaid  
between us;  
for every time

you held my hand,  
smiled for me alone,  
swore you'd always be

my friend  
in the darkest hours.  
I hate you.

For your silence,  
your ghostly touch...  
your death.

My tears burn  
like acid, like anger,  
and I

bathe my soul in shadows,  
washing myself away  
in the darkest hours.

(c) March 19, 2005 Lucidscreamer


	6. Timeless

**Letters to the Dead: 6**

There is a timelessness  
to loss. For every two steps  
forward, I seem to fall

so far behind.  
In unguarded eyes, I see  
blame no greater than my own.

Friends surround me,  
yet I am alone. Bereft  
of my companion soul.

In the space between dreams,  
I have felt your touch and known  
the reality of your love.

It's my fault you're gone.  
When no one can see,  
I glare at reflections

making your face my own.  
When no one's listening,  
I call out your name,

wishing. In dreams,  
I search for you desolate,  
lost in endless mazes.

(c) April 4, 2005 Lucidscreamer


	7. In dreams you kiss me

**Letters to the Dead: 7**

In dreams, you kiss me:  
wistful and greedy, desperate and needy  
as every wish I ever dared.

You whisper,  
"Your lips are sweeter than honey,  
more intoxicating than wine...

The sun rises in your smile  
and my heart rejoices  
when you are near me."

I lose myself  
inside your need, surrender  
every secret place to your desires,

offer my  
every adoration:  
heart and mind, body and blood

every portion of my soul  
yours to have and to hold.  
Waking, I am untouched.

Halved, again...  
every part of me my own and lonely,  
aching for your kiss.

(c) May 17, 2005 Lucidscreamer


	8. Crocodile on the Sandbank

Letters to the Dead: #8

"_The love of my beloved is on yonder side  
A width of water is between us  
And a crocodile waiteth on the sandbank_..."

I long for your love, my beloved,  
but the current is swift as the Belly of Stones  
between us; it carries me away from you.

Time moves as the River, too fast;  
I forget the once-familiar timber of your voice  
and your touch no longer haunts my dreams.

Still, my soul aches for you  
as you stand on the Western shore.  
But the River is wide

and a crocodile waits on the sandbank.

(c) 8-24-2005 Lucidscreamer

Note: The quote at the beginning is from an ancient Egyptian love poem, translated by Dr. Barbara Mertz.


	9. I Love You! and the end

**Letters to the Dead: #9**

It's been so long...  
I'd forgotten how I once  
sent you my heart in letters,

the desperate act of a young  
fool...or an old one.  
No, to love you was not foolish.

Rather, to hide my love  
in wishes and dreams,  
loving you in silence...

I broke my own heart.  
And now that it's too late to speak,  
I find I can't be still.

I would shout to the heavens  
and hope you hear: I love you!  
My companion soul, my Pharaoh...

My beloved Other.  
After so long, do you still remember?  
After so long, could you take me back?

If I come to you now,  
old and gray...and a little wiser...  
would you love me?

* * *

Yugi felt the pen fall from his hand, but he was too tired to retrieve it. He let it lie where it had fallen on the quilt, his other hand shaking only slightly as he held the paper on which he had written his final letter to Yami. 

And, in his heart of hearts, he did know it was his final letter; he would write no more, letters or anything else. He could feel his heart laboring inside his chest, feel the strain of drawing yet another breath. Strangely, he wasn't scared. His life had been a long and eventful one, his days filled with friends and the everyday adventure of living. He had been happy, he supposed, though a part of him had never stopped missing his "darker side" who was so full of light.

It was peaceful here, the sunlight from the window filling the room with a soft, golden glow. The warmth seemed to permeate his aching bones, easing the stiffness that had been his constant companion these last ten or so years. He relaxed with a sigh as the warmth seemed to fill him up, taking the strain from his heart, easing the breath in his lungs.

Yugi blinked his eyes open. He sat up with a fluidity that surprised him, and took a deep breath. When he looked around, the sterile hospital room was gone, replaced by walls on which brightly painted fish swam between water-lilies just opening to the sun. His bed was carved of some dark wood, the head slightly higher than the gilded footboard he could see just beyond his feet. Instead of the heavy quilt, he was covered with a sheet of finely-woven linen. Draperies of even finer linen, so sheer it was transparent, hung from the gilded frame surrounding his bed.

Cautiously, Yugi swung his feet to the tiled floor--again, surprised at how easy it was to do--and made his way to the edge of the raised dais on which the bed and its canopy sat. The rest of the room, far larger than his hospital room had been, was equally amazing, filled with wooden and woven reed chests, delicate-looking tables, and a single low-backed chair. All of it faded into nothing, though, when the door opened and a very familiar figure stepped into the room.

"Partner," said a deep voice so full of affection it sent a shiver down to Yugi's bare toes. "I have been waiting for you."

"Yami!" It was all Yugi could do to gasp out the name. He wanted to fling himself at the Pharaoh, to wrap his arms around that slender waist and never let go...but he couldn't get his frozen body to move. His eyes filled with tears, though exactly what emotion prompted them he would have been hard-pressed to say. "I...I've missed you so much!"

"As I have missed you." Yami was at Yugi's side in three long strides. He was dressed in a simple white kilt, his jeweled broad collar and armbands gleaming against his bronzed skin. A faint smile played across his lips as he gazed at the new arrival. "I hope you are not disappointed to find yourself here. I confess, I never did truly come to understand your modern beliefs..."

"No!" Yugi gaped at him. How could Yami think that he'd be disappointed? Hadn't he been dreaming of this for... He frowned suddenly, realizing what had to happening.

"I'm dreaming, aren't I?" Yugi crossed his arms defensively over his chest, nearly overwhelmed by the sinking sense of disappointment that settled uneasily in his stomach. His heart ached once more. "This is just another dream and when I wake up, you'll be gone again and I'll still be old and dying and I...I won't have been able to tell you..."

Yami cocked an eyebrow. "Tell me what?"

"...That I love you." Yugi's voice was very small, but Yami heard. He smiled, a true smile that lit up his entire face and took Yugi's breath away with its beauty.

"I love you, too, partner." Yami reached out and carefully enfolded Yugi in his arms, pulling him gently closer. "I always have."

He leaned down and added, his lips brushing Yugi's ear, "And this is no dream."

Unheeded, the tears spilled down Yugi's cheeks as he returned the warm, very real embrace. His heart felt as if it were soaring on falcon's wings, as if he could stretch out his hand and touch the golden disk of the sun.

He lifted his head and met Yami's tender gaze. "Never leave me, again."

"I promise," Yami said, and bent to kiss him.

Yugi met him halfway.

(c) 9-09-2005 Lucidscreamer

* * *

Author's Note: Well, that's the end. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. All review responses can be found in my LiveJournal (look for the link in my profile). If you enjoyed this poem series, please take a look at my Yugioh AU novel "Chariots of the Gods" for more YamixYugi romance. 


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